It was June, it was hot --
an Arizona summer,
Lizards only loving
the jagged white rocks,
Which had become as white
hot stones in midday;
The fence outside my hermitage
also being a favorite
haunt of theirs,
So that at any time I
could find one or two of them
sunning themselves on the 2x4's,
Who upon sensing my presence
watching them,
Would like sprinters
scurry away from my sight,
Too fast for me to tell them
I enjoyed their presence
and to please stay.

I felt loneliness
and peaceful solitude at the same
time, so I knew He was still there
But I no longer understood him;
and
I no longer understood
what He required of me;
Within the shattered dreams
of personal goals,
Unrealized,
Failures, I thought.

Circumstances compelled me
to be still
and gradually,
Reality began to gently peek through
revealing its Truth,
About who I was;
and to Whom I had always belonged.
Finally, He spoke --
Within the two hearts of
my Savior and Lady,
My consecration must reside.
They had chosen me,
I had to be theirs.

I had been too blinded by His Love,
To understand the cost,
of that Sacred Heart
He had placed at my feet.
That to accept it bound me
To a duty
To learn
To imitate
His Humility,
And become a servant like Him.

Her Immaculate Heart had pierced mine,
Before we were even
formally introduced;
From her slender hands
Rays of joy unspeakable
Warmed my cold heart,
Revealing a heart of flesh.
I was immersed in
brilliant diamonds of purity,
Its facets and clarity
at first blinding me
to my own flaws,
So that I perceived her heart
as my own.
The piercing sweetness
of its beauty
Enflamed me with a desire
to Love,
And with charity
to give, to others
This Joy,
and
Myself to her,
So her purifying flame
Could burn away my fear.

It was only much later,
when her glow faded,
I felt bereaved,
As if I had lost myself,
Because I had failed to live up
to my expectations of what
was expected of me.

Eventually, I knew
The journey must continue,
Even if I did not feel
Her purity
So that I could understand
My weakness
and fraility,
In the midst
of their two Hearts.
It was only when
I could love myself,
Within my imperfection,
I could place my heart
beside His in faith,
and continue
Perceiving on some level
Salvation would come
When I placed
the foolish ambitions
Of my selfish heart
At His feet.

One by one I had to face
and dispel
My illusions
of mythical perfection,
So that my imperfection
could be sanctified,
and His Holiness revealed.
He had to teach me
His definition of Servanthood.

Servanthood sees
the wholeness of each person,
In the center of their brokenness,
And serves the dignity
of that wholeness.

Servanthood sees another's
imperfections
as indelible stamps of courage
for having survived,
and as the lines
in an elder's face
become a map to teach us,
So do our personality traits
tell the story
of our own unique journey
of life.

They will teach us
how we can serve
each other's wholeness
in the confusion of brokenness,
If we will only listen and learn
with an open heart;
That heart which is nestled
between Her Heart and His.